Inspired by the example of Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing: A Primer on Parent Cruelty I have been collecting examples of names to give your children if you want them to be mercilessly teased at school.

So here are some of the gems, gleaned mainly from secondary schools in Victoria. They usually fall into these broad categories:

• the apparently random spellings, including the attack of the Y/K/Q virus
• the pretentious (often linked to the random spellings)
• the unfortunate juxtapositions (honestly people, think how that name will sound followed by your surname)
• the others - weird/unfortunate/just don't know what they were thinking.