Jason and the Golden Fleece will be along shortly

Argo: many parents draw on myths and legends for inspiration, but a *ship*?

Khiana / Kiarna / Tiana / Tiarna / Tiarnah / T'arne: that yooneek name isn't looking quite as unique any more, is it?

Rivali: Italian for 'rivals'

Kailaeb, brother for Takeina: oh my

Bad-bad, bad-bad

I have noted before that the whole “Leroy Brown” joke is not funny. It’s especially not funny when it’s spelt Lee-Roy Brown.

While an actual name, it’s amusing how quickly the Sydney Swans Grand Final win and subsequent amusing Irish jigs have impacted on naming trends with the arrival of the second Tadgh I’ve seen this week (for those who (a) aren’t Irish; and (b) don’t follow football, it’s pronounced “Tie”).

Recipe variations

In place of the random letters or punctuation, substitute the name of a character, a brand name, or a celebrity. If you can't find one you like, make one up.

Chennel
Anakin
Kaleigh
Tarli Jayde
Aaliyah
Myree
Tarmeecha
Kismet
Noeleta
Taya Wynter
Michallie

Recipe for an unusual name

Directions: take a relatively common name, and randomly replace some of the letters. Add punctuation (if desired).

Koady
Bree-Anna
Kayti
Kaeleb
Maycie
Oliviah
Deirdrie
Laicey

Family spirit

"Interesting" names often run in some families, which makes (twisted) sense. Sometimes though, there are quirks (ie siblings that get left out). I wonder if they feel deprived or fortunate.

Te-Harnie, Jordyn and Spirit

Wil Danger, brother to Tennille, Zoe, Montanah and Keeley

Tamika, Kholo, Trent, Mitch, Farrah, Steele and Lill

Tione, Kaeleigh, Samson and Jett

Jak, brother to Lilyarna

Eden Ash, brother to Tasman and Reuben

Kallysta and Zakia

I blame Michael J Fox

A curious trend - parents not bothering with whole names, just bestowing an initial on their offspring. To wit:

Kobie J, brother for Mieka

and recent offerings Jade V and Zaya J

We can think of several potential explanations:

• homage to the afore-mentioned Michael J or (more likely) Homer J


• parents' inability to agree on anything more than a single letter


• sheer laziness

Puzzling. Submit your theories on the back of a postcard.

Some recent naming conversations?

Parent 1: I really like the name “Riley”, but it’s becoming so common.

Parent 2: Why don’t we change the spelling to make it unique?

Parent 1: People seem to have covered all the possible spellings already.

Parent 2: Really? Even Ry-lee?

Parent 1: A hyphen! That’s perfect!

Remi & Uli: Poor boy.



Parent 1: I really like the name Emanuel.

Parent 2: But I really like Ethan.

Parent 1: Emanuel!

Parent 2: Ethan!

Parents 1 & 2: Ethanuel!

Remi & Uli: You’re not as clever as you think you are.

Continuing the theme of the day...

Geography abounds:

Tamar

Iluka: now while Iluka is indeed a coastal NSW town (among other places), it's mainly known for being a huge mining company

Evil genius of the day is Malachy Wasyl.

The boy most likely to be mistaken for a girl is Tylah (Joshua).

To round out today's collection, we have some superfluous punctuation and spell-o-rama:

D'arcy

Annique

Payton Layne

And one must be geographical

"We welcome our twin daughters Tess and Yarra."

Yarra? Yarra? What the hell did she do to be named after a murky brown river while her sister got a perfectly normal name?

Random assortment of huh?

There's only one thing to say to these parents: WTF?

Caius
London Mary
Shayla
Inde
Jade V.
Aleka
Tahnee
Isaiah Jorge
Bella-Grace Marvellous
Tamieka
Jye Menelaos
Breeze Sierra
Jordyn Kiorah
Ruby Blue Summer, sister for River and Noah
Kain Kyah
Cadee
Sommer-Maree
Kaleisha Ashlee
Telah
Xander Ty Tanzer-James (guess they never said that one aloud)
Samryn, sister for Nicaisha

Looking for a sponsorship deal

Guinness Donald

Riley Atticus Versace

Anikann Audi, little brother of Daniel, Keiryn, Romy, Claire, Kanyon and Odessa (you do wonder how Daniel and Claire managed to buck the trend...)

Yooneek spellling

Sophee

Salena

Jhai

Bilee

Zakary

Kyal

Jenavieve

Random Letters, Part II

The letter H seems to be the main culprit/victim today, though it's not alone

Briahnna

Tiahna

Nikiah

Giaan

Lyzbeth

And I worry about the parents who announced "the safe and unique arrival" of their offspring. What? Only born once? Poor deprived child.

The Return of the Random Letter

Sierra Rayne. Is that like summer rain, or northern rain?

Jacob Brabham. A car racing fan?

Miah. Why the “h”? Why?

Zaya J. Why the “J”? Why?

Eden Brooke. What’s with all the Edens at the moment, are they showing reruns of Santa Barbara somewhere I don’t know about?

Kiany, sister to Saara.

Lochlin, brother to Macayla.

Chenille strikes again

Continuing the chenille-y goodness is Sheneal. If you never saw Fast Forward, there's a pic of Magda Szubanski as Chenille "the walking, talking facelift" beautician here (and a clip). This may help you to understand the cringe triggered by this name.

Shirlina

Brothers Bryn and Renwick

Oh God, not another one

Tishara.

Aila. Now Aila is the seventh child in this family and the other six have normal names, so I guess they ran out. Of course, her middle name is Grace, so obviously they didn’t run out, they just made a bad choice.

Princess of Power

Shyra: Wanted to join forces with He-Man, but was too timid

Chenneal: What were they trying to evoke? Cochineal? Nubby bedspreads?

Brentyn and Jaydyn

Evan Zoltan: Wasn't Zoltan the name of the fortune-telling machine in Big?

‘My mission in life is to confuse my kids’

Or possibly just embarrass them:

Aaren Kipsunde

Elissa, sister to Elias (no confusion there)

Nalia (gnarlier? Dude…)

Samson Jai, brother to Gorgi and Chelsi (shouldn't he have been Samsi?)

Tarquin Julius

Ataysha Rhylee

Macey Aroha, sister to Monet, Mackenzie and Eden

Tay Zarek

Can’t spell, won’t spell

Konna

Zavier

Rhiley

Emersyn Rylee, sister to Zahli

Call this a namesake?

Anakin

Jaedyn

Odhinn Troy

Zsa Zsa Isabella

Gidget

Mattise

They're just pulling them out of their arses now, aren't they?

Zanyn Trae

Chiquita Charlie

Makon Tomack

Made up names and confused families all around

Tayissa Jaye sister of Ellyana. (Oh, and there’s confusion about this one. In one entry she’s Tayissa, in the other she’s Tayiffa. Either way it’s bad.)

Khobi-Jay.

Tane.

Jye Brayden.

Anikke, sister for Viaan.

Eden Alaska.

Cameron Nimrod. (His second name was included in the notice put in by the parents. The notice by the rest of the family wisely ignored that and just welcomed Cameron).

Not a dream

Reve, little brother for Nixon: interesting role model there for big bro

Changing the spelling of a name to make it yooneek doesn't always make it klassy:

Brydee

Klayton

Dakoda Aisha

Or you could just make stuff up and hope for the best:

Tameka Dior: perhaps a career in perfume endorsements?

Tander

Jed and Dael (twins): Twin 1 will inevitably be known as Hillbilly - the combination of 'Hill and Dale' AND the Beverly Hillbillies is really too much to resist

Brylcreem, anyone?

Anaya, sister for Brylee and Tealiah - Brylcreem, tealeaves and now a neigher?

Zahli Dakota

Shalin

Crap Names – TV Edition

The start of the new television season in the US always filters down to us here – thanks internet! – and provides us with the usual mix of “wow, that sounds like complete crap” and “that sounds very cool, I bet they won’t show it here for 12 months and then only at midnight”.

However, what struck me more than either of the above in relation to the upcoming premiere of Bones is the stupidity of the names of the lead characters. Temperance and Seeley. WTF?

One can only hope the latter’s nickname quickly become “posturepedic” (because I’m sure David doesn’t get enough animated inanimate object jokes from his foray into puppet-dom at his last job).

You do know that's a horse? Nope, guess not

Today's names put me strongly in mind of parents who got their children confused with their pets

Roan

Tiffany Star


And parents who have arty aspirations for their children

Matisse


And parents who just made stuff up

Xaden

Maycie Elora

Kalan Jakob

Tiarnie

Brothers George-Elio and Sassine-Jo

A summer breeze...

While I really feel for newborn Clem and all the phlegm jokes he’s going to cop in the playground, the one who gets most of my sympathy is his big sister Zephyr.

Her brother's name is Oedipus, right?

Discussion, for some reason I can’t fathom, got on to the subject of bad baby names when I was in the pub on Saturday night, and some true gems were revealed. Unfortunately as a result of being in the pub when said discussion was had, I can’t remember any of them now. But while I wait for the beer-induced fog to clear and reveal them to me, there were plenty of candidates in the weekend’s birth notices to keep us occupied.

First, another variation to add to the list of Cadens: Cadyn.

Then we have the parents who I feel didn’t think things through before electing to give their daughter a good old fashioned Greek name: Elektra.

Then the completely made up names: Dacey and Deegan (both girls by the way, not that it’s immediately apparent).

Followed by the “I want to be on The Bold and the Beautiful when I grow up” naming of Storm Ross, the tragically but creatively spelled Logen Jade and the tragically spelled first name combined with the made up second name glory that is Payge Kimra.

Lord of the Vampire

Jedah Lily Mai - Jedah is also known as the 'Smoothly-dressed Grim Reaper' from an arcade fighting game called Darkstalkers III: Jedah's Damnation (Vampire Savior: Lord of the Vampire). Good choice, Mum.

The Caden thing has got out of hand, but I'm predicting the next yooneek trendy name to make me rabid will be Kaylan, aka Caelan, which is popping up all over the place

Skyla

Thalia

Zico

Why naming your child after a TV character / dead singer / porn star is a bad thing

New mother Krystle had to be born in the Dynasty era

Haylie Nakita - made me think of power tools, but apparently a more accurate description would be porn star (hint: don't google 'Nakita power tool' especially not at work)

Taj Mitchell, brother to Tiarne and Aaliyah

Jordie John got off lightly compared to his sibs Kye and Tayha

Taila

Jestelle

Good day, bad day

The birth announcements around this country seem to be working on a “one day sane – next day crazy” schedule. After yesterday’s group of fairly normal names, today the announcements took a turn for the loopy.

Dallen Archer, brother to Taleya (son to Reichelle).

Tiala, sister to Zacc.

Baxter Ablett. Geelong supporters perhaps?

Ambrose Rain, brother of Imogen, Rose and Corbin Leif. They really don’t like the boys in that family, do they?

Asta. A girl. I’m sorry, but Asta is a dog’s name, a famous dog’s name at that. And even if it weren’t a dog’s name, it’s certainly not a girl’s name. Poor child.

Bohdan, brother to Zahli and Xiara.

Jonty Kane, more parents hoping for sporting glory, this time of the cricket variety?

What-were-they-thinking?

The star for the day has to go to:

Coda-Ryley and big sister Hunter-Paris . I-am-speechless.

Honourable mentions go to:

Riley and brother Logan Xander (hoping for a sister Buffy next?)

Parisia

Shaye Bri

Grayam

Jagger James

Siblings Kallis and Bade

Triplets Chloe Ella, Tihana Lee and Deriney Tye (starts OK, goes downhill from there)

Sisters Kathleen and Kaitlyn (no confusion there)

Third Time Unlucky

In the celebrity baby name stakes Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld had been doing pretty well with daughter Sascha and son Julian. So exactly how difficult was the delivery of new arrival Shepherd Kellen Seinfeld that they felt the need to lumber him with that name?